I am very happy for my ongoing participation with the National Association of Adoptees and Parents support series. I lead a free class on the last Thursday of each month entitled:
Self-Love for the Adoption Constellation:
Mindful exercises and Meditations for the Inner Healing Journey
An Adoptee’s sharing about “Healing Tree”
When this arrived, I opened the book randomly to smell the pages and to my dismay, my eyes fell upon a sentence which read “…[she] was the one who could really brighten my day or break my heart.” (Or words to that effect…) Instantly I was triggered. I slammed the book shut and stuffed it under my pillow. After a while it dawned on me ~ ‘There’s nothing wrong with me, there never has been… someone else feels the way I feel!’ and from that moment I was utterly hooked.
For the longest time I felt like a freak, I was ashamed of my feelings and my thought processes, but this book put everything into perspective. I can’t tell you how many times my mouth hung open reading a paragraph, or how deep my brow furrowed upon reading words that I myself could’ve written straight from my own heart. As someone who was rejected by her biological mother only to be rejected a second time as an adult by her adoptive mother, this book hit HARD. Like, steam train at top speed hard. I wish I’d have had a book like this sooner. The two parts are so good in the way they are set out; the first part explains the authors childhood and adolescent years and how she came to find her birth mother, and the struggles she faced when she started keeping in touch with her birth mother, and how she struggled with her mental health and anxiety her whole life, then the second part is all about the healing journey she experienced and the different stages ~ shan’t spoil it for you! ~ there are little activities and routines to get into the habit of in order to help you with each stage of healing as well so it’s not just a case of sitting and reading, you’re actually actively engaging and doing kind of further study if you will.
I’m currently re-reading The Healing Tree and it sits snugly with some of my favourite books ~ always within reach ~ and if I ever irritate myself or find my mind wandering to a gloomy time I recall something in the book, a sentence usually that resonated with me the first time I read it, and I pluck the book out of the lineup and scour the pages for that exact quote and read it a good few times to really ingrain it in. It’s just so relatable to any girl (especially girls ~ we’re a complicated species) who has been adopted or who has discovered they’re adopted; I think if you haven’t experienced that specific life journey then parts of the book won’t make sense to you. We’ve been waiting a long time for a book like this, something warm and relatable and refreshingly honest and soothing almost.
Definitely give it a go if you’re not sure whether it’s for you and your healing journey, you won’t regret it. I’d say just take your time and if you’re triggered then put it away until you’re ready, but it’s definitely a good tool to have on hand because you can just grab it when you need it because genuinely, no website or social study or factual drivel you’d find online will speak to you the way this book does. It’s so honest and gentle but at the same time raw in places, you’ll realise you’re absolutely not the only one feeling those feelings. Buy it now. Even if you don’t read it right away. I will definitely be recommending this book to anyone in the same situation.